Beyond the PIP: What to Do When Someone Isn’t Growing with You
Because leadership isn’t just about compassion. It’s about clarity.
In last week’s blog, I wrote about what happens when performance improvement plans become tools of punishment instead of growth.
How “feedback” gets weaponized.
How silence gets dressed up as strategy.
How performance management becomes fear management.
But there’s another side to the story.
Because sometimes—yes—someone really isn’t performing.
Sometimes, even when you’ve communicated clearly, created the conditions for success, and extended support, things still don’t change. The work stays sloppy. Accountability stays loose. And the impact starts to ripple.
So what then?
If we’re not handing out surprise PIPs and calling it leadership…
If we’re not relying on shame or silence to fix misalignment…
What do we do when someone on the team still isn’t growing with us?
This is where things get more complicated—and more human.
Because I learned a long time ago: you can only take so much responsibility for someone else’s work.
And honestly? It’s almost none.
You’re responsible for the systems they’re working within.
You’re responsible for what they’re working on.
You’re responsible for the conditions under which you’re asking them to work.
But the output?
That’s on them.
That’s the tension of working with other humans:
The reality that people bring their full selves—their histories, their habits, their hopes and their hurts—into the room with them.
My father once told me:
“The people you went to kindergarten with are the people they’re going to be.”
I don’t believe people never change, but it stuck.
Because whether we like it or not, the conditions that shaped someone’s “performance”—long before they walked through your doors (virtual or otherwise)—are already in play.
And so, the real tension is here:
Between individual responsibility—and collective responsibility.
Between compassion for where someone comes from—and clarity about what the role requires.
Between wanting to create a regenerative workplace—and needing to run a business that works.
So the question becomes:
What do you do when someone isn’t performing—no matter the reason?
You stay in relationship with the reality.
A mentor once told me early in my career:
"If someone on your team is a star player, tell them. And also tell them this: if they ever choose to leave, for any reason, you’ll help them find something bigger. You’ll be in their corner, even if it’s not here."
That advice shaped me.
Because leadership isn’t just about keeping people.
It’s about caring enough to tell the truth—even when that truth means letting someone grow beyond you.
The opposite of that?
Larry David’s famous “foisting” episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm—where he unloads an underperforming assistant onto an unsuspecting friend, just to be rid of her.
One is rooted in care.
The other is rooted in avoidance.
When someone isn’t growing with you, you have a choice:
Co-create a next step that honors them
Or foist the problem onto someone else, hoping it magically resolves.
And part of making that choice well is understanding this:
Not every role—and not every season—is meant to scale.
We don’t live in a time when people stay in the same job for 40 years.
Careers are fluid. People shift. Companies pivot.
And sometimes, a person who was a perfect fit for one stage of your business just isn’t right for the next.
That doesn’t mean they’re wrong for work.
It doesn’t mean they’re lazy.
It doesn’t mean they failed.
It means your business is evolving.
And the real question isn’t: Are they loyal?
It’s: Are we still aligned?
We Need More Than Compliance
In traditional, transactional business models, the relationship is simple:
You do the work. You get the paycheck. Be grateful.
But in regenerative, liberatory business models?
The relationship is co-creative.
It’s not just about the company getting what it needs.
It’s about building environments where both the work and the people can thrive.
That requires more than compliance.
It requires real commitment—from both sides.
Commitment to the mission.
Commitment to growth.
Commitment to honest conversations when the fit no longer feels right.
Because even capitalism can’t deny the data:
Happier, healthier employees increase profits.
Regenerative leadership isn’t just idealism.
It’s strategy.
So when you notice misalignment creeping in, the goal isn’t to double down on control—or guilt people into staying.
It’s to slow down.
To assess.
To ask honestly: Are we still aligned?
Not just are they loyal—but are we still in this together?
Because when commitment becomes one-sided, the relationship becomes extraction.
And that’s the very cycle we’re here to interrupt.
If we're serious about interrupting the cycle, we need real tools—not just good intentions. This is where a real-world framework for building alignment without shame would be useful, right? Don’t worry. I got you.
Because most teams get stuck in one of two places:
They over-support underperformance (burning out managers)
Or they under-communicate expectations (leading to misalignment and mistrust)
To move away from shame and blame and into alignment, it’s critical to understand, zoomed out at a company level:
What’s essential to the business right now?
What’s most urgent and impactful?
Who owns what? Is everyone set up to deliver?
Are the day-to-day actions moving the needle?
How are we tracking progress and adapting?
Then with each individual team member, we stay focused in the day-to-day:
Does this person understand how their work supports the bigger picture?
Are they growing based on feedback and learning?
Are they actually following through, or just staying busy?
When we use these frameworks, the question becomes clear:
Is this a performance issue—or is it a placement issue?
If the business priorities are clear, the role is well-defined, and the expectations have been communicated—but the work still isn’t landing?
That’s a performance issue.
If the business priorities have shifted—but the role hasn’t?
That’s a placement issue. The seat itself needs redefining.Is the role misaligned—or is the person misaligned?
If the role genuinely requires a skill set or decision-making authority that the person doesn’t have—and can’t realistically grow into—then the role has evolved beyond them.
If the role is still aligned to their strengths and interests—but expectations, support, or clarity are missing?
Then the person might still be a fit, but the structure isn’t serving them.Is this a growth dip they can move through—or have we outgrown each other?
If the person is receiving feedback, applying it, and making incremental progress—even if it’s slow—that’s a growth dip.
If the feedback isn’t landing, the same patterns keep repeating, and the commitment to growth feels one-sided?
That’s a signal you may have outgrown each other.
Alignment isn’t about forcing someone to fit a role they’ve outgrown—or forcing a role to shrink to fit a person who’s ready to fly.
Alignment is about clarity, capacity, and co-ownership of the work.
When the Answer Is “We’re No Longer Aligned”
Here’s what I want you to know:
That doesn’t mean you failed.
That doesn’t mean they failed.
It means you’re doing your job as a leader.
Compassionate leadership requires clarity.
And clarity doesn’t mean being cruel.
It means being honest—early and often.
You can part ways with care.
You can be direct without being dehumanizing.
You can lead with integrity without sacrificing performance.
Because supporting people includes making hard calls.
So if someone on your team isn’t growing with you?
Start with curiosity.
Lead with clarity.
Use tools—not threats.
And ask yourself:
Have I created the conditions for them to succeed?
Have I made my expectations unmistakably clear?
Have I looked inward before pointing outward?
If the answer is yes—and the results still aren’t there— you’re both allowed to move on.
Just don’t do it through silence.
Don’t do it through shame.
And definitely don’t do it through “shots fired.”
Leadership is a sacred responsibility.
Move with care.
And that includes the responsibility to make space for people who are ready to grow.
Not just those who are staying put.
When you stop managing liability and start designing alignment, you don’t just avoid harm.
You build momentum.
xo,
Brittany
P.S. If this conversation stirred something in you—
If you’re ready to rethink leadership, alignment, and the future we’re building—
COO-fessions was made for you.
It’s a private podcast for leaders who are ready to stop performing and start leading differently.
Because the future of leadership isn’t something we wait for.
It’s something we build—together.
